Girl Band (sourced on Snappa.com, January 2025)

This week I made the decision to sneak back out of performing retirement. I’m joining a band. True story! Not just any band, mind you. And it’s not the kind of band you might typically think of; it’s a wind band. And in this case, I will be a member of the wind section as a vocalist. This felt like a gentle, low stakes, low pressure kind of gig that would allow me to make music with excellent colleagues, without the pressure of standing at the centre of the stage in a fancy gown. (Come to think of it, what will I WEAR???)

The occasion is James Stephenson’s Symphony No. 2 and the band is the Wellington Winds here in KW. They’re conducted by the Dean of Laurier’s Faculty of Music–and my boss–Cynthia Johnston Turner. She asked me as a special favour, and after listening to this powerful work, dedicated to the memory James’ mother, I said yes. James’ mother was an untrained alto, and when she died a few years back, he wrote this symphony as a way to process his grief. The mezzo voice is embedded in the orchestra, not as a soloist, but as one of the instruments. I was truly intrigued by this prospect; there are many composers (Richard Strauss comes particularly to mind, but there are others) who use voice as part of the orchestral texture, but I have never performed as literally a “member of the band”.

I have no words to sing. My part consists of “oh” and “oo” and is featured in every movement in short, haunting sections. In one I am to “blend with the flugelhorn”, in another “with the french horn”. The instruction frequently is to sing without vibrato, at times specifically warming my tone, or adding vibrato on just one note. The idea is to emulate James’ mother’s untrained voice and the effect is ethereal. It all feels like a bit of a gift: I get to make music with peers, conducted by a woman I admire, with the composer in attendance. I have nothing to prove. The old anxiety about being on top of my game is gone. There is zero pressure to “be the show”, and instead I can just show up as an artist and be one of the band. Sweet.