Remember: fluidity. Explore this. When I find myself “all over the place”, can I settle in and do some breathing and examine: what is in my way right now? What do I not wish to accept? Where is the discomfort? Where do I feel it in my body? Can I soften in that place, release my desire to hold on, perfect, be solid? These are big questions, metaphysical questions.
It is so easy to be hard. Hard on myself, hard on my work, hard on my voice. The ego needs are so strong: I must be consistent! I must be perfect (impossible)! I must achieve the “desired result”! How debilitating are these commands, how demoralizing. Can I be gentler, more open to the wisdom that’s inside?
I found myself reflecting on these questions as I responded to my students’ practice logs this week. As I dole out the sage advice, I notice where the blocks come for myself. In listening to several gospel singers this week in the aftermath of an outstanding lecture by Black musician and scholar Dr. Alisha Lola Jones, I have been noticing how the power of the message can tap us into our fluidity. We bypass ego, and become immersed in communication, in connection. This is the key. Or one of them, at least.