I’ve had some *moments* this week, overwhelmed by the enormity of returning to the University, the multitude of new things (updated syllabi, trauma-informed practices, learning about consent, understanding systemic racism…) and sometimes feeling I can just never get it all done (spoiler alert: I can’t!). The joyousness of the waning days of summer spent sipping G and T’s, lounging in the sun, riding my bike and other leisure-pleasures has been rapidly erased by the pressure of deadlines. So many more hours are spent at the computer all of a sudden, sitting, staring at a screen (Oh, COVID, how I did not miss thee!). It all feels like too much.
And yet: when I see this photo, taken on the final August weekend, I see that joy captured and I remember how well I do so many things. I am reminded of my great capacity for enthusiasm and wonder, and how very much I value the things in life that money can’t buy: nature, sunsets, the sensation of cool water on my skin, the company of people I love, good food, tasty drinks, the exhilaration of exercise, sounds, smells, music. I also remember just how much I love my work. I love sharing music, making music, teaching music, teaching and working with people, creating things that espouse all the values I hold dear. So when overwhelm threatens, I hold on to this:
I shall swim. I shall not drown. I know how to do this, and even when it gets choppy, I know how to float and conserve my energy. I can embrace the suck (to quote Brené Brown) and even lean right into it, because I know that the joy is always there, just under the surface of the water I’m swimming in. Happy back-to-school, everybody!